Lots of Football, Lots of FiT By Mr Bennables

December 19, 2013 10:47 am

When my nine year old nephew asked me if I wanted a game of football, I took the dubious risk of dusting off my 20 year old Adidas Beckenbauer’s, after doing a couple of strained stretches and one squat, the little bugger shouted at me from his bedroom that he had loaded FIFA on the playstation!…….hmm….

Times have certainly changed….FIT managers of a certain age will remember when, football was played anywhere, anytime with anything, game consoles didn’t register,

Ten rules we then used.

1. The fattest one is always the goalkeeper.

2. The kid who owns the ball decides who plays.

3. Penalties are only awarded if the injured player cries, or swears a lot.

4. The match only ends when everyone’s tired or is ‘called in’ by mum.

5. No referee.

6. If no one has a football, a tennis ball or plastic bottle will do.

7. If you are picked last, you have little or no hope in life.

8. No matter what the score is, the winner is determined by “next goal wins”.

9.Getting a football stuck under a car is the most stressful part of life.

10. When the owner of the ball gets pissed off,…its game over.


This Premiership this season continues to be one of the most open title races for years, with MANCHESTER UNITED’S manager Moyles shaking like a nervous greyhound for a positive result, a welcome 0:3 away win at ASTON VILLA will help keep the detractors at bay,…for now.

NEWCASTLES great form continued with a respectable 1:1 draw with defence specialists SOUTHAMPTON, with Remy scoring well again, the Geordies are now in a great position in the table sitting in 6th place.

EVERTON who are having a great run of form, struck another blow to struggling FULHAM with a resounding 4:1 result.
Exit Martin Jol , welcome Meulensteen.

Who would have predicted the result at the Etihad?.. ARSENAL to score 3 but concede 6!! to a rampaging MANCHESTER CITY.
Surely another bizarre result to sting some Fit managers.

Exclusive : TORRES scores, yes you read that right.. Goal machine Fernando continues to justify his wages with his second strike of the season as CHELSEA see off CRYSTAL PALACE 2:1.

SUAREZ FC, sorry…Liverpool FC set about destroying a disjointed SPURS side… With a 0:5 thrashing and Suarez scoring more goals this term than the entire Tottenham squad, AVB becomes the latest managerial casualty.
Are we about to see the return of the Hod?

Sat 12:45:

As most of us are accomplished FIT managers, please bare with me if I state the obvious in the following review.

With injures to RVP, Aguero, and Sturridge, it’ll take a brave Manager to not Captain LIVERPOOL’S Suarez, with 16 goals and 10 assists in 11 games and at home to CARDIFF CITY the inform striker will surely be odds on to score.

Sat 3pm:

NEWCASTLES great recent form will surely make them favourites for an away win against CRYSTAL PALACE, with Remy on target 8 times this year and at 8.7m makes him good value.

MANCHESTER CITY even without the formidable Aguero, who will be sidelined for a month, have the depth in squad quality to heap more pressure on FULHAM. City’s midfield are the highest scoring points players on Fit as yet, and with Silva back, this could be another high scoring game.

MANCHESTER UNITED will be hosting WEST HAM at Old Trafford, historically a home win would be the only prediction, but with Man U going through ‘transition’, RVP injured and a new uncertainty in the club, who knows?.. Still personally I favour a comfortable home win.

Last seasons FIT favourite ASTON VILLA’s Benteke seems to be struggling with form, he hasn’t scored in his previous six matches… is he due a goal?, or has he lost his golden touch?… Against STOKE who defend well we will find out.

SUNDERLAND will be hoping to improve after there poor showing in lasts weeks goalless draw with West Ham.. NORWICH however with Hooper on the scoresheet last week will expect a positive result.

SUNDAY 1.30:

Manager less TOTTENHAM face the difficult trip to SOUTHAMPTON, Spurs will be looking to avenge last weeks slaughter at the Lane with a result against a resilient Southampton… 1.1..prediction.

SUNDAY 4.00:

SWANSEA’S squad could be further strengthened by striker Bony’s return, with Michu now also fit, goals will be expected.
EVERTON, who’s superb start to the season also will be confident to inflict the same damage back with hitman Lukaku and Mirallas bang in form.

MONDAY 8.00:

A welcome return to Monday night football on my birthday, as London rivals ARSENAL play CHELSEA… Arsenal will be wanting revenge after lasts weeks goalfest at the Etihad.
Walcott will be in many managers mind after two goals last week.
Chelsea who can’t keep a clean sheet, will be wanting, and needing goals from there disappointing rotation of strikers.
Thank Fit for Hazard!

Captain choice this week seems to be obvious… Suarez on form is first option, others to consider are a consistent Rooney at home to West Ham, Negredo and Siva, Walcott, Hazard, and those who like a gamble Torres.

Mr Bennables ‘TOP TIPS’ :

1. RVP, as we stand may not be the default option, Suarez currently holds that privilege.

2. If your wanting honesty, ask a small child…or a drunk.

3. Check carefully the gameweek your accepting a h2h for.

4. When a girl says “do whatever you want”. Do NOT do whatever you want.

5. Don’t always follow the pack, make your choices and keep the faith.

6. Sarcasm is the best answer to a stupid question.

7. Confuse Geordie physiotherapists by informing them you’ve got knee complaints.

8. Please remember, telling a girl to ‘calm down’ is like trying to baptise a cat.

9. A bad gameweek, can be easily forgotten when next week your captain scores a hat trick and an assist.

10. STUCK for Christmas present ideas? A gift voucher is a superb way of telling that special someone you couldn’t be arsed.

I must finish on a sad note, as my mrs has threatened to leave me because my obsession with FIT,
In my defence, I’ve got Baines, Kompany, Terry and Zabaleta.

Yours in FIT, happy Christmas,
Mr Bennables.

This post was written by FiT Admin